FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS -- FAMILY MEDIATION

Why mediate?

Family mediation is a process in which an impartial mediator helps divorcing or separated people make decisions about their minor children, finances and property.  If the lawyers can work together and settle the case quickly, amicably, and inexpensively, perhaps mediation is not needed. Quite often, being an advocate causes a lawyer to respond aggressively or initiate preemptive strikes that the other party finds threatening. It is difficult for a lawyer to take care of a client and play a conciliatory role at the same time. Also, when lawyers do most of the negotiating, the parties do not communicate directly to make their own agreement, which may also improve their interactions down the road. Using a mediator might be like taking out an insurance policy to maintain an amicable situation among all parties and counsel. It also affords the family the benefit of a trained innovative problem-solver. Finally, it has been suggested that the use of mediation can be a transformative experience that may actually improve the interaction and lives of the family members instead of just putting a settlement bandage on family dysfunctions.

What issues can be mediated?

Issues involving minor children:  This includes where they are to live, contact with the other parent, and general matters about their welfare. Problems can be as a result of separation or divorce or from issues arising long after divorce. Grandparents and other adults in the children's family can also be helped. When dealing with children issues, their welfare always comes first, and parents are encouraged to consider the children's feelings, needs and wishes.    

Issues involving spousal maintenance and finances:  The division of assets, including pensions, and the support of the family and each other, where the family is to live, and what is to happen to the former family home.

What are the benefits?

Mediation helps people to exchange views and information, listen and be heard, reach their own decisions and reduce conflict.  Children whose parents reach an agreement through mediation are generally happier, more secure with the new.  Mediation is also cheaper, quicker and less stressful than court proceedings.    

Is it like counseling?

No, mediation is entirely different from marriage and relationship counseling. The idea is to encourage couples to focus on issues that are causing disputes and to enable them to reach agreements that suit each party.

Will you try to get us back together?

No.  If a reconciliation appears to be possible, you should seek counseling from qualified family therapists.

Do we both have to attend?

Yes.  Mediation cannot work unless both of you are willing to participate.  It "takes two to Tango."

When is the best time to undertake mediation?

Mediation can be helpful at any stage of a breakdown in relationship. Sometimes it can be best to start before separation begins but mediation can still be helpful long after separation or divorce. Sometimes it may make sense to engage in discovery first so that each party understands their assets and liabilities.

The information contained in this Web site is provided solely for the general interest of clients and friends of Dow, Einhaus, Mattison & Carver, P.A. This information should not be relied upon as legal advice and is not a substitute for obtaining legal advice from a licensed attorney. We assume no liability or responsibility for any errors or omissions in the content of this Web site or other sites to which it provides links. The use of this Web site is not intended to establish, and does not establish, an attorney-client relationship. No person viewing this Web site should send confidential information to Dow, Einhaus, Mattison & Carver via e-mail without first obtaining permission to do so from one of its attorneys. No representation is made on this Web site that the quality of legal services to be performed by Dow, Einhaus, Mattison & Carver is greater than the quality of legal services performed by other lawyers or law firms. In some states, this Web site may be considered to be advertising by a lawyer or law firm. The hiring of a lawyer is an important decision that should not be based solely upon information contained on this Web site.